I was reading a post from a parent in one of the yahoo groups I belong to and a mum was upset because her daughter has hit the ever dreaded teenage years and she is not enjoying the push/pull, love/hate relationship they are having. Oh, do I understand!
I have so many regrets about my relationship with Stefanie just before she died – 14 is a crappy age for girls. I was so set on making sure she was behaving appropriately that I didn’t take the time to truly enjoy her for the fantastic women she was becoming. I knew she was a good person with a huge heart and of course she had a normal teenage rebellious side , but I was always focused on being the parent and didn’t truly enjoy her sense of humour and good nature.
Sometimes it’s too late and we’ve missed our chance to tell others how much we appreciated them or how much they meant to us. I’ve always tried to teach my kids to notice something positive about the people they meet and to compliment them on it – not just think it. It can’t be to win “brownie points” because then it isn’t genuine but when we focus on positive things, it just makes people feel good. Isn’t that what life is all about – to feel joy and appreciate the blessings we have?
For those who are struggling with teenagers and the hurt that comes from that age, or a co-worker who always seems to be against us, or a family member who is distant, try to shift your expectations. Try to see the positive in each situation and look for something good in them. I’m pretty sure that things will turn around.
When we expect the negative, that’s all we’re going to get. We’re like big giant magnets and when we think and act negatively, that’s what will come to us. When we put out a positive vibration, we will attract more of the same. Try it, it can’t hurt.
And more importantly is to tell those around you how much you appreciate them and love them. It might feel uncomfortable at first but it’s better than wishing you had when that chance is gone.
As far as teenagers go, love that they are spreading their wings and just ride the wave and trust that if they truly know they are loved, they’ll come back, no matter how far off track they might get.