Is there anyone who isn’t looking for answers to the tragic events in Newtown Connecticut? …Anyone who hasn’t wondered what would possess someone to slash kindergarten-aged children in the ears and face with a knife in central China? These types of incidents can make us crazy if we dwell on them too long. Certainly that’s the way I’ve been feeling.
No one can understand how the parents, families, teachers, first responders and many others are feeling and no one can take their pain away. We cannot do that for them. Sadly they have no choice but to move through their grief until they feel as though they can breathe again. Love and support will be their greatest need.
It is a very helpless feeling—impotence at its most desperate level.
There will be those who find that action—any action—is the best way to cope. Others may shut down, becoming completely paralyzed. Some will try to capitalize on the tragedy, and still others will bask in their fifteen minutes of fame.
The media will do its best to satiate the almost incomprehensible thirst of our society to know all the gory details, allowing us to be front and centre, creating mass hysteria and perpetuating the vicious cycle of needing more and more sensationalism to feel anything at all.
Always my greatest fear is that this global awareness will only lead to similar incidents. The more attention that is brought to something, the more energy it has and the more other disturbed individuals will be attracted to the infamy.
Again, the feeling of impotency is overwhelming.
So what can we do? I suppose for those of you who live in the U.S., lobbying for gun control might be a good start, but that would require an inextinguishable fire burning in the pit of one’s stomach to fight for the long haul. I suspect that only the families of those gunned down will have the energy to take on the NRA.
For the rest of us, is there anything we can do? First, I would suggest prayer. I believe so strongly in the power of prayer, whether it’s to the Universe, Allah, Buddha, God, or the god of your understanding, sending love from our higher selves to those who need it, does help the healing begin.
Next, focus your thoughts on the helpers. If you look around you, you’ll see them. They are everywhere and will be the most incredible force for good to combat the grief and anguish that has enveloped the lives of so many.
Don’t make it about you. I had to remind myself of this as I crumbled into a blubbering mess alone in my office Friday. My memories, my pain—it’s all real, but this is, in no way, about me.
I think this is a good reminder to think about how we might help others who are grieving in our own lives. Sometimes when there is mass media attention, resources for those who need it are plentiful. My girlfriend often comments on how lonely it must have been for those people who lost their loved ones through accidents or illness at the time of 9/11. Where were the resources for them?
Please download my booklet and share it. It’s free and it was written so that we all might help others when they are suffering. When we feel useless it can help to have a reminder of things we CAN do to support others.
If we turn off our televisions and refocus our energy on those around us, we can make a big difference, especially at this time of the year.
Peace to all of you.