What are your goals?

imagesGoals are what propel us forward, give us something to work toward, something to fill us with enthusiasm and give us a reason to feel proud of our accomplishments. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have many projects and ideas constantly on the go. If I don’t take enough time to organize my priorities, nothing would ever get done.

One of the best ways to do this is to make a list (dream big) of everything you want to accomplish, do or have. Maybe it’s skydiving, or running a marathon. Perhaps it’s mastering meditation, yoga, or taking a course. It could be earning “x” amount of dollars, having financial freedom, learning a new language or just getting through the day being the best partner, parent, friend, child etc… that you can be.  Whatever your goals, write them down. Now pick the top twenty.

Once you have these down, take a moment to ask yourself why they are important to you. List the top three about which you feel the most passionate. What are you doing to achieve those goals? What have you done? What things do you have to put in place to make them happen?  If you feel tired just thinking about it, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate that goal because when we’re truly passionate about something, we are invigorated to push forward.

Being realistic about a time frame for each of these goals is paramount.  Some might be immediate and others may take ten years.  Regardless, it is necessary to have a plan in place and to review that plan every once in a while.

When life is overwhelming for any reason—death, divorce, lost promotion, job loss, bad news from a friend or family member, illness—whatever the reason, it may be all we can do just to get through the day.   This is where a plan helps most.

At first, after Stefanie’s death, I could barely breathe, let alone think about the future.  My future was the next hour, the next five minutes, anything to make it to bedtime so I could escape into at least a few hours of exhausted sleep.

What drove me was a painfully simple plan. I would reward myself daily for just getting by.  A latte here, a chocolate bar there, a couple of days away, alone with James—anything that worked.  I just needed to look forward to something, anything, no matter how small.

Now that I’m in a better place and have grown into what I hope is a better person, having a plan to obtain my goals has proven invaluable.

When my girlfriend took her life coaching coarse and spoke of the work involved and the time commitment, I felt a little sorry for myself because I knew I would never be able to carve out the time.  I had five kids and she only had two. Her spouse didn’t work shifts.  It wouldn’t be possible at this point in my life I had decided.

Was that ever a limiting belief!!  All I had to do was to make a plan, and stick to it.  Yes, it meant sacrifices, not just for me, but for James, Lilibeth (our amazing caregiver) and the kids, but I’m confident the end justified the means for all of us.  I was a happier person, a more invested wife and mother because I felt positive about what I was doing, which, of course, improved my overall outlook on life.

Now I’m a Certified Coach specializing in grief and can continue moving forward with my overall plan of supporting other people, some who find themselves in the same hell we went through or just those who are suffering the everyday losses we all experience.  I needed a goal, enough passion to stick with it and a plan to make it come to fruition.

What is there in your lives that you are passionate about?  Try the above exercise and see if your dreams don’t become a reality!


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4 Responses to What are your goals?

  1. Cindy Anthony says:

    Great post Patricia. I always set goals for myself and this year my goal of learning to play violin very much honours my Mom, who was a wonderful pianist and always encouraged our love of music. I am using her Dad’s violin and each time I go to my lesson I feel such a closeness to her.

    • patriciahung says:

      That’s beautiful Cindy. It can’t be easy to learn but it’s so very good for you both emotionally and mentally. Good for you!

  2. Monika Oriold/Emo says:

    Every year I make a resolution…. and every year I accomplish this small task….
    It does get harder and harder to decide what my resolution will be… And it is usually about others and what I have witnessed that year that has passed////////

    This years resolution is to inform everyone how life is soooo much better when we think of how the other person feels…. and aid them in letting them know that there is a better way to go about doing and accomplishing their goals…. To do it in a positive manner and try not to hurt or put the person down…… This is about showing them that there are better ways of accomplishing what their goals are…..showing them that a positive influence comes back to you in huge rewards if you talk and let the other person know without throwing it in their face…. With out mallace and without anger…
    We can all do one thing each day for someone else…this helps your self asstem and helps others….We all wish to feel better …We all want to be loved.
    There are always people who are worse off than us….

    • patriciahung says:

      It’s so very true that there are always others who are worse off than ourselves and being grateful for what we have is paramount for our own happiness. Thank you Monika.

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