This comment from “Being Positive” is fantastic:
I’ve been thinking more about this post, Patricia, in conjunction with learning about the weekend death from cancer of someone I knew slightly. There is an individual who worked hard to create problems for me a few years ago, and I have to face this person regularly. The anger has been wearing me down, and I’ve decided I’m just going to look him in the face and get on in the most courteous and oblivious way possible with whatever it is we have to do together. To the degree that it is possible, I’m going to try to let it go. There are so many more positive things to focus my energies on … despite saying earlier that I couldn’t change my feelings, it does actually feel as if I can let it go, too. Not quite forgive, and certainly not forget. But not obsess, either.
I was so happy to read this comment (but very sorry about your friend), because that was exactly how I was feeling and I’d like to expand on this a little further.
There are a few things that I absolutely believe in. The first two are easy and I would think that most people would agree, but maybe not the third.
1) If you say or think negative things about other people, it hurts you in the long run more than it hurts them.
2) If you expect negative things from others, that’s exactly what you’re going to get.
3) If you force yourself to see only the good in others, blinding yourself to their pitfalls, eventually you won’t have to force yourself because they will only present to you their positive side. Expect good things to get good things.
Don’t believe me? Do an experiment. Don’t start with someone who has done you a terrible wrong, start gradually. Try it with one person who you may see as selfish, manipulative, or incompetent etc… Look at whatever it is they are doing, take out your rose coloured glasses, and expect something positive from them. Be positive, be encouraging (even if you have to fake it a bit), give them the benefit of the doubt, pretend that they are already the person you expect them to be. Just be yourself, (your positive self) and don’t pre-judge or be judgmental.
I know that it’s so much easier to be negative. We are negative about ourselves, each other and it grows. Ever work in an environment where the morale is in the toilet because everyone is so negative and no one can see the good in anything?
Sometimes it can just take one person to turn that around. Let that be you. The only person who has control over how you feel, is you. Don’t let someone else’s bad day ruin yours.