Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Wow, that’s pretty harsh isn’t it? But that might be the best advice I could give to help anyone to start moving past their emotional pain. Now I’m not suggesting that it’s easy, not at all, it’s very hard work that comes a little at a time – but it’s so worth the effort.
The name of the game here is to get relief – any way possible. Relief from whatever it is that’s causing you to hurt.
Charity, and not necessarily in the form of money, can (and sometimes only for a millisecond) make you forget your pain. It’s like a drug, one I’m a little ashamed I became addicted to, because charity (by definition I would think) shouldn’t be self serving. But I wasn’t going to feel guilty about that too, so I just did whatever I could to survive.
Anytime I could, I would go out of my way – and sometimes very far out of my way – to do things for other people. And in that instant when I knew, or witnessed their joy, it was like a hit of the best drug possible, relief. Of course in the beginning, it was only a fleeting moment of relief, but it didn’t take long before I began to live for others, doing everything I could do to forget my own pain because I was so busy focusing on their needs.
Did I stop feeling sorry for myself? Yes. When I focused on other people, I directed my energy from my own loss and onto someone else’s joy.