This last week has held many challenges, reminding me that life can be darn hard work some times, and it’s up to us to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and find ways to carry on. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own well-being. Some times, though, that seems an insurmountable task.
Grief isn’t solely about death. There are forty different categories of loss that are part of grief, including divorce, a missed promotion, an absentee father etc… But the bottom line is the same for all—wishing things could be different than they are.
But do we not learn something from every negative experience? As we pull ourselves out of the abyss and make our way again, always trudging forward, do we not become slightly better human beings?
I’ll use, as an example, my first marriage. As with most divorces, it was an unhappy and stressful time, full of self-doubt and guilt. I, like most parents, worried about the children and how they would be affected. But, through lessons I learned (and I’m positive my “was-band” would agree for him as well) I grew exponentially and was determined, if ever I remarried, that I would focus more on some things and less on others. This, of course, is how I seem to learn best—by making mistakes.
However, it’s a bit of a personal victory and similar to those many of us have all the time. We need to be proud of who we are and how we’ve grown as individuals.
When we acknowledge the good that has come out of life’s challenges and realize our amazing ability to pick ourselves up and grow within ourselves, we can access great pride and joy.
I have been so impressed by those of you who read this blog and have shared both publicly and privately your own challenges and triumphs. As we remember these things, we can rightly be impressed with ourselves—privately, of course, humility is such an attractive quality. Every time we overcome some obstacle or adversity, our confidence grows, propelling us on to greater heights.
Try this exercise. Wait for a time when you don’t believe you will ever see the light of day again and write down the outcome. Did you experience any personal growth as a result? If the answer is “yes”, pat yourself on the back, write down how this has made you feel, and keep it somewhere so that the next time you are anxious or afraid, it’s there in black and white to remind you of your own inner strength.
Be proud of who you are and don’t fret about any possible bumps in the road. Your future self will only continue to grow.